I've been painting since 2007, but it's been an on-again, off-again relationship with art and creating. I began painting shortly before our first child was born, sweet Sam. He's seven years old now, and my art has taken so many twists and turns, traveling uphill and downhill, being tucked away into drawers, being left to fend for itself, being layered with new ideas and thick paint, being fawned over and fussed about, being breathed, being ignored, being treasured... But most of all, it's always remembered. Even when it's tucked away, it's still a part of me, a part of my thoughts and my dreams. It seems that major life changes always present a new shift in the amount of attention I can devote or that I want to devote to my art. I put it all away for 6 months after our first was born. Then, there was a painting frenzy that ensued. It lasted until our second was born. Then, I kept it up for a while, but I felt pulled thin. My art was really taking flight, but what I really wanted was to go to bed at night knowing my children were taking flight, so I stopped mid-painting. I was working on a 24" x 48" painting, and I just stopped. I still have it hanging in our home today, to remind me of a time when I chose my children and their future. After a long hiatus, I was drawn back to my brushes and my easels. So, I floated back...
Each time I take a break, breathe a little, refuel with inspiration, my art changes a little. There has always been a new perspective, a different avenue to explore, when I return. And it often seems that major life changes come just at a time when I think my art is ready to soar! Just a few months ago, I felt like my paintings were filling with light, texture, and vibrancy. I was feeling so productive, too. I spent more hours with my ideas, more time with my brushes, more dreams in my sleep... And I was reaching my goals, I was being offered opportunities to exhibit that I'd never had before, I was at the first real place in my art career where I felt a bit scared. I knew it was time to decide, do I take the leap into the dark and keep going bigger, or do I stay where I'm comfortable and plod along? It was a breathtaking view from where I stood, but I was afraid to take the leap. Then, just at the moment, literally two days before making a big art career decision about a gallery relationship, we received word that we were chosen to adopt our third child!
I immediately knew my answer for the gallery. Not now.
Now is the time to nurture my little family. Now is the time to continue nurturing my art closer to home, which is really in its infancy, as well. We are hoping to adopt a precious little girl in the next few weeks, and our lives have turned once more from paints and brushes and all else going on in our busy home, to diapers and onesies and bassinets and bottles. We are hopping on a plane in less than two weeks to make our pilgrimage toward our future! My relationship with this baby girl's birth mother has been a remarkable journey and experience for me. I've felt so much love and concern for another person that I haven't perhaps ever experienced for someone not a member of my family. But, the beautiful thing is that she is a member of my family now, and will forever be! She gives me inspiration and is the source of so much joy for our little family right now as we look forward.
I know that this slowing down in my art will be the foundation for a surge of inspiration in the future, as it always has been. I walk by my home studio almost every day and look at the paintings waiting for me there... I called one finished just yesterday, and am hoping to paint even just a little bit as my days grow busier and longer in the near near future!
For those of you who have been faithful, loyal collectors, I have to say thank you! Thank you for sticking with me through my ons and offs of painting, my ups and downs of productivity! I hope you will not be disappointed in what comes next, and I hope you will continue to walk this road with me. After all, my art is just an extension of who I am. It's a privilege to feel I am able to share a bit of that with all of you. So, thank you.
Holland Lane, oil, 16" x 20"
Haarlem, oil, 24 x 24
